Ironwood Brewing, Valparaiso, IN

The first time that I stumbled upon this place, I was driving through Valpo on a Sunday afternoon. It was winter break, the college kids were home, and jack-shit was going on in town. I figured that this would be the best time to grab a beer at a brewery right off of campus--the place would have to be at its most authentic.

And it was. It was closed.

I went back about six weeks later, as I was in town to go to a basketball game. I parked in a football field lot that was about half way in between the gym and the brewery. This time, a Saturday evening when school was in session was the setting, and I anticipated a rowdy pre-game college crowd. I crossed the street and could tell from about 75 yards out that the joint was alive. There were few to any cars in the lot, so this had to be an on-campus rowdy crowd.

Again, I was disappointed.

This time they were open, but when I opened the door, it was either filled with professors or old folks having a pre-funk before going to some sort of January high school graduation party. Shoulder to shoulder and nobody was rowdy. The ladies all had dates, and the guys wore ties. The ol' girl pouring was very overwhelmed, but very nice. After things cleared out, I bull shat with her for awhile. She explained that the bar operated in spite of the college--the two basically had no knowledge of the existence of the other one. Local politics dictate that the town and the school will always be at odds over what ever the fuck they want to be at odds over.

This was the first college town that I had ever been to that disliked its college.

She assured me that they make enough money off of the locals and tourists, and that they do nicely and don't need the college kid market. It's really a shame because you can actually see the football stadium from their building. Tailgating should be their niche. All they would have to do is barbecue in a 21 and over area outside and get some corn hole set up. If they didn't want to fuck around with the food license, get a hotdog cart or a taco van to come up.

Fuck, or just corn hole. Drunk college kids love their corn hole.

The other problem that this place had was it's prices. They were on the high end of normal, but their token beer was a Russian Imperial called Black Friday. It was going for $20 per 22 ounce bottle. A $20, 22 ounce bottle had better be straight panda semen or something expensive, not some fucking nothing special home brew. If you are Sam Adams or Rogue, you can do a $20 bottle--not some little-ass local joint.

Three Floyd's Brewing Co., Munster, IN

About damn time that I got here. 

I rolled in one Sunday in December while on my way to pick up my parents at O'Hare. I was hoping to post up and catch some football and drink at one of the premier joints in the Midwest. 

I was happy to roll up and find that they shared a parking lot in an industrial area with their Three Floyd's Distillery. The distillery looked like it was still under construction, but fuck it. 

Besides beer, liquor is one of my favorite things to drink. 

The inside of this joint was an accidental tribute to Northwest Hipster scene. No football on the television, just a Star Wars movie with no sound. Sound would have distracted from the iPod that was plugged in playing the Amos Lee or Ray LaMontagne greatest hits that was keeping it mellow. 

I was not disappointed with this because it was such an authentic breath of fresh air to be in a joint that smelled like the Cascade Mountains. 

Do the Cascade Mountains smell like pine? No. They smell like fish hippy and marijuana. 

I ponied up to the bar and began to drink. The bar tender looked to be a good 6'3", 250, and had a beard that acted as its own bouncer. When he spoke he sounded gay. 

I hope he was gay. If he wasn't, it would totally have ruined the Northwest vibe. 

The drunk next to me should have been drinking for free because he was the greatest hype man in the history of brew house hype men. 

"Yeah, that's a great one," he said every time I looked at the beer list.

Or, "Do you like IPAs? A lot of people don't like IPAs, but I like IPAs because the hops are what make the beer."

Thank you for the wisdom Fucker. 

I will give him credit though, he talked me into ordering the bacon and duck fat popcorn. And it tasted like bacon and duck fat popcorn. 

The best part of the experience, however was the authenticity of the joint. It's easy to be a brewery in Washington or Oregon. The scene is doing it in the Midwest but it isn't there yet. I don't know if it is the proximity to Chicago, the proximity to a D1 university at Valparaiso, or what it is, but Three Floyds is everything that is good about drinking microbrew.